ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
