Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i barfeds in our rink
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
