Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
