in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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