Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
