I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He did a backflip because drugs
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
