well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
