I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
