just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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