You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
