I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
