I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
