Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
