Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
