Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
