More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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