Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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