you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize