i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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