Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
