If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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