hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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