Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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