OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
