The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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