think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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