WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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