absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
