also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
