is your mom at the bar?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
