Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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