her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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