Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
