Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
