question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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