Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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