Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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