If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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