I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
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your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
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No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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