Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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