Your face is a jimmy john
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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