We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
