can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
