I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
