if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
