if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
