Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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