yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
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That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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