last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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