Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
