I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
sex in a hospital.. check
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
