At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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