Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Is it because I queefed?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
