belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Princesses don't give blow jobs
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Sorry about my life...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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