You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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