Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
