She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
