and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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