idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
