Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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