i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
