So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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