why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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